10/16/22

I want to decay. I want to rot away in the bosom of Gaea and leave behind all that I know.

 Beyond that, I'm doing pretty well, although I am experiencing key symptoms of clinical depression and whatever additional personality disorder is inside of my deteriorating brain. Interesting as it is, I don't feel sad or upset about anything in particular. I don't believe I truly feel anything at the moment, only that there is certainly something psychologically preventing me from experiencing joy. The complex interworking of my brain is yet to be concretely evaluated by myself, thus the feeling of never knowing what emotion could be brought to the forefront next. 

Anyway, things are going well in my day-to-day life. I submitted my final tech pack this morning which has been a point of contingency since the first Sunday after my classes started. I believe I mentioned my presentation last Thursday, which I've now completed all the associated assignments for and that does feel pretty good. However, school-oriented stress levels have not dropped. The second session of classes has started, thus I now have an additional class to concern myself with, though I do think it will be easier considering the large age grouping in attendance, it seems like a beginner class for the topic of photography. I've never taken an actual photography class before, all I know is that I like looking at pictures, and capturing moments of life for myself. I will never claim to be good at taking pictures, in fact, I often tell people I'm not good when my friends ask for the occasional fit pic. But I'm excited about this class, and I really hope it can help evolve my eye for photography and make my pictures brag-worthy, and not just things to post on an Instagram photo dump. I also have a few big projects coming up in my social aspect of fashion class, one of which is an individual presentation. In high school, after freshman year, I stopped getting as nervous about presenting by myself. However the reason for this is after a year at my very small school, I knew everybody, so I didn't feel nearly as anxious about appearing to be dumb. In college? I don't know anybody, I don't like anybody. Most people probably don't like me. What's worse is this is a class full of sorority/fraternity people who have never had a complex thought in their entire lives, and while I know I'm better than them in every single way, they don't know that thus making it uncomfortable for all of us. My presentation is one of how religion and garments interact with one another; a pretty interesting topic in my eyes. My concern is that because these people have never had to question their place in the world around them, it will go entirely over their heads. The same thing happened when people were presenting dress and gender, a topic I wanted to do until the girls in my class began talking about how Harry Styles would be a good example of gender norms being broken with the dress. Ew :) 

What is genuinely unfortunate about a class composed of people like that, is that even though I may not be the most insightful, I love group and class discussions in which we really deep dive into a topic. The class itself orients around the idea of the wardrobe and the community or communities you align to, which I just think is a really interesting topic in and of itself. However, bitches are fucking stupid as shit, incapable of having deep analytic thoughts of evaluating the earth around them. But one of my favorite things, as one may be able to guess based on this website, is analyzing the fuck out of things based on cultural perspective. Its impact, its reason for existence, and whether or not it accomplishes the message it was intended to send. This class does no such thing. So thank god y'all have me because I'm very educated and smart and shit or whatever, as I am about to culturally analyze some shit right now. So crazy.

 Photography in the fashion industry is a very interesting topic to follow, mainly because of the way photography in terms of style changes over time, and is, in my opinion, one of the best indicators of trends besides fashion itself. However the crossover between the two arts is something so prevalent, I didn't pay it any mind until very recently. In and of itself, fashion photography can tell a lot about the aesthetic of the target audience, and the brand itself. But more than that, it can make or break a collection. I'm going to not talk about runway photography because artistic touch isn't as noticeable to someone like myself, I am going to talk about magazines though. Starting with an easy one, James Patrick for XY magazine in the early 2000s. XY magazine was a gay culture magazine that has since been pretty fazed out, though I think they can still be found somewhere. I don't know a whole lot about the publication, what I want to talk about is a photo shoot that a lot of people have probably seen in those TikTok mood boards, as that's how I found it. The photoshoot, created and published in 2001, is called Cupid, and in its way, tells the story of a jack and a geeky skater who, of course, was struck by Cupid's arrow. Each picture captures the two of their dynamics interestingly, both in a queer aspect and an artistic aspect. The way Patrick frames the two is very reminiscent of the flash photography style that we see now with photoshoots from Jaded or adjacent brands, capturing the punk perspective very well. However, there are two things that I think make the photo shoot so special. One is the subject of the photos themselves, the other is the time that's captured. The photo shoot was five photos altogether. It starts with the two feature models passing each other in the hall, the jock with two girls under his arm, the skater eyeing them all out, before the next photo in which they're struck by Cupid's arrow in the bathroom. The last three are progressively more intimate until the final being them like, aggressively making out in the locker room with the entire rest of the room filled with jocks. This is so boring to talk about I need to add pictures or something. I think this shoot stuck with me so strongly because of the way it presents itself almost as queer rhetoric for a none queer space. It's a locker room filled with muscular, sweaty, men but gaily. Granted I do believe that XY did do gay porn, so this is most likely smut. But the beyond just what is physically captured, the aesthetic is something I don't think would be appreciated until now, when we can look back at the years we grew up in and it elevates the subject further. The lenses used, the angles being mostly overhead, but especially the clothing accomplishes a very niche aesthetic that I would love to be able to emulate in my art at some point. 

To the same degree, I want to connect that to Chris Evans's photoshoot for Flaunt magazine in 2004, which aided in my queerness discovery. The photo shoot is effectively Chris Evans being a slut in a very homoerotic way. Shot by Tony Duran, the shoot is one of the most iconic shoots I've ever seen, beyond the GQ shoot with Robert Pattinson. I think one of the reasons it becomes so big, beyond the fact that it's Chris Evans showing bush, is because we don't see a lot of men embracing their sexuality in this way in non-queer spaces. Cupid is a cool photoshoot because of the vibe and its steamy environment, but it took place in a magazine that would only really be seen by people already accustomed to this genre of soft-core pornography. Flaunt is not nearly as risqué as this. Flaunt works with fashion, high-profile models, celebrities, etc. thus the appearance of Chris Evans thrusting having a long-lasting impact on this style of artistic photography. The shoot features I think 6 shots of Chris Evans, in a dimly LED-lit trailer, Evans in a camo trucker hat, and jeans pulled past the V-Line. I don't want to insinuate that the only art I'm interested in is sexual, I'm very aware a lot of the runways and art things I tend to discuss on this blog correlate with sexuality. The reason is sexuality is such a prevalent topic in the world, in art, in media, and our lives. And when I see a piece of art, media, or a collection that freshly captures sexuality, is well done or is well thought out, it simply hits differently. Chris Evans in Flaunt is one of those cases. 

I think sex can be a very beautiful thing when done correctly, and expressed in a way that's intimate to true sexuality and not just tits and balls on the cover of playboy. Sex has become something extremely overproduced, and at some point, it's going to run its course, but it doesn't need to be that way, the only reason it is is because of heteronormative representations of it. There was a point where straight people got bored of the same thing for decades and thus came the porn industry, appealing largely to men as women were taught to avoid sex almost entirely. But now we're in an era in which sex doesn't need to be a hushed topic, and if done correctly, can be art itself. Think of Jules's special episode of Euphoria, or just Jules herself. Jules fucks, but Jules also loves sex. She's not a whore because of her love for sex, she's human. But that's the point of context. For Jules, sex is something she had to claim for herself, and while like most she got lost in the environment, this is due to the people on the other side; men. If people can view sex as portrayed in art, as something that can be presented beautifully, sexually, passionately, and intimately, it will become what I think it was meant to be, the connection of two people in the most intimate way. This is how I view the topics I talk about. I talk about sex a lot, and I know and can recognize that. But that's because, unlike most, I claim it as my own. It's my body, my art, and my experience, and that takes a lot. So when I see something that shows sex in a way that isn't damaging, but presents it in a way that makes it art, imma tell everyone and their mom. Sex is cool. 

That's all I have to say, I was going to talk about more photographers, I WAS going to talk about Blumarine, but maybe next week. I love you all I hope you have fantastic weeks. Next week look forward to a review of a runway, I want to talk about clothing again. I'm sorry if this week sucked, that's not my fault Abby was distracting me. Love you, see you later,

~Christian Reid